Couples TherapyDanica MitchellSex Therapy

Let’s Talk About Sex: Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual DysfunctionIt can be scary when sexual dysfunction appears in a relationship, be it erectile problems, low libido, or pain. It may be a popular misconception that once the sex goes the relationship is over, but that is a misconception.  It’s true that sex is an important component for many couples. However, difficulties in the bedroom do not mean that the relationship is doomed. Sexual dysfunction is more common than most people think, and if you are in a relationship long enough it is likely that at some point sex will be a struggle. There are many reasons for this, including stress, anxiety, medications, or tensions in the relationship. However, if you can understand why dysfunction is occurring and you are willing to work through it together, it can actually make your relationship stronger and maybe even sexier. 

Types Of Sexual Dysfuncti0n

There are many types of dysfunction. Some of the most common are erectile dysfunction, which may mean losing erections or struggling to get them, low libido or desire discrepancy, difficulty with orgasm, or pain/discomfort during sex. 

When experiencing dysfunction a good first step is to look at when the dysfunction began. Is it something that has been present through multiple relationships, or is this something new? This can give hints as to what the core issue may be. As you work to understand why something is happening you can create a plan with your partner to explore ways to remedy the issue. 

Communication

What is most important is that you communicate with one another. Sexual dysfunction in a relationship should be the couple against the dysfunction, not against one another. Blaming and shaming do not help.. Creativity and kindness, both to yourself and one another, are key tools in exploring what may counter the dysfunction. Finding ways to remove “performance” pressure, create novelty, or find time for intimacy can be great starting points. Additionally, doing research into the issue and informing yourself can be good if you don’t feel ready to try something new yet. The kink community can also be a valuable information resource.  They have a broader set of definitions for sexual activity and have likely experienced sex both when it has been great and when it has been challenging and frustrating. And they are usually very open to talking.

Support Networks

Utilizing or building support networks is important as well. It can feel isolating to be struggling with intimacy as we often assume everyone else is having amazing sex all the time. Be open and honest with people you trust, as said before, this is very common. Perhaps your closest friends and family may have dealt with this already. 

At the end of the day, sexual dysfunction in relationships is normal, and most people will experience moments of dysfunction at some point in their lives. If you feel you have a relationship where you can talk openly and collaborate together, it can be a challenging moment that brings you closer together and possibly opens up your erotic life to new and exciting things. And as always a professional can be a great resource to support you in this.

Contact us today to schedule a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation or to book an appointment.